WHY

Someone recently asked me why I would ever want to come live in rural Honduras for the better part of a year.  Why I would quit my interesting lucrative job and volunteer in a place that doesn’t even have hot showers.  Of course there are a lot of ways to answer that question.  There is the excitement of travel, of discovering the unknown, there is the challenge of learning another language (or two), and there is the beauty and joy of getting to work in the place that my Grandfather helped build – and worked in for 30 years.  All of these are wonderful reasons why I am glad to be here, but they are not The Reason why I am here.  I am here because I was getting more and more selfish.  A life lived for self is an empty one – no matter how many toys and fast cars you keep buying.  Many people avoid selfishness by living for their spouse and children – learning that love and sacrifice go hand in hand in any good relationship.  Others find fulfillment in serving the needy around them – or just being there for dear friends.  A wise woman once told me (actually not just once – she says this all the time) “never take advice from someone who doesn’t have what you want.”  I looked around at all the people I wanted to emulate – all the people whom I respected and would like to be like “when I grow up” and I saw one thing in common.  They did not live only for themselves.  They were constantly finding ways to serve others.  And they were truly happy.  I think the only way to true happiness is to find a way to live for others.  I am not ready to get married.  Perhaps someday.  At this point marriage and that sort of living for another is not my path.  But I needed something to change.  My easy life was too easy – I could buy what I wanted, travel wherever, eat at nice restaurants and do whatever I wanted most of the time.  Yet with all that I wanted I found myself to be less and less who I wanted to be.  I complained all the time, and with all those things I somehow never had enough.  I knew something drastic was needed.  So here I am Honduras.  Can you teach me?  Is is possible to break 29 years of just thinking about me?  We shall see.